Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
