Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
babies were throwing up all over the place
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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