just tell him i said nine months
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
