Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
