I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
