you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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