part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Even my vagina gasped.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
