"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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