I feel like abortions should bother me more
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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