Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
