Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
