you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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