"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
