he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
