HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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