Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
