So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
