Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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