so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
false alarm, still single
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
