glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
