Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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