thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
