Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
