New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
