her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
