I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
