Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
