You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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