drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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