Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
