oh god the rape fog is back!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize