Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The air taste purple.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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