1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
