Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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