no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
