Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
