It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
