he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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