no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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