; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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