youre lurking in front of me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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