i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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