last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
