I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
