dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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