So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
