Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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