I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
