You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
