Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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