it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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