We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
did you just send me my own nude
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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