If i come over, it means nothing
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
