You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
