Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
